Today, I was having an argument with my new stepfather. He began a sentence with, "Luke, I'm not you're father, but..." He paused midsentence, then we both began laughing. I think I'm going to like my new stepdad. MLIA
Today, my friends and I were at the Cheesecake Factory. When they asked for a name my friend cut in and said Voldemort. When our table was ready the waitress shouted "Voldemort? Party of six?" The look on everyones face was priceless. MLIA
Last night, I was out with my friends at numerous frat parties with loud music and creepy guys. At some point we stumbled into a Harry Potter party complete with robes, wands, and a cauldron. I think you know where we spent the remainder of the night. MLIA.
Today I was studying for my California drivers test. When I opened the drivers manual there was a letter from Arnold Schwarzenegger. I spent ten minutes reading in my best interpretation of his accent. It was the most fun I've ever had studying for a test. MLIA.
Before I go on, let me say, I’m having an emo moment. I would normally never blog something like this.Sorry.
But, I’m sad. I feel like my friends are abandoning me, I talk to them, ask them how their weekends are going, stuff like that. They never really ask about me. Most of them don’t even know my mother was admitted into the hospital last week. Most of them don’t know my Grandmother is very sick, possibly dying, probably, and that it’s breaking my heart. They are slightly getting a rude tone when talking to me, they don’t wanna make time to hang out with my (I’m not talking about you Amanda *there is no computer symbol for a half-hearted smile*) I don’t know, I am going through things right now, and it would be nice if they asked me how I’m doing. Or listen to me for that matter, I told one of my main friends a couple of times that my mom was going to Oregon to care for my grandmother and my father was going to come and stay with me so I wasn’t alone, on the car ride up to Oregon I was texting her something about how pretty the trees were, she says, “Oh you’re in Oregon?! Lucky!” I see her again at school and we are casually talking, I talk about how living with my dad is funny & awkward, she says,”Your Dad’s living with you? Wheres your mom?”. It’s like. Fuck, why don’t you pay attention to when I tell you important shit! I’m gonna stop typing now before I get even more whiny.
Ashley! I’m sorry :( I hope everyone who hasn’t been listening to you lately becomes a better friend. You deserve better than that! Your invitation is really cute, by the way. (I know its supposed to be secret but no one who didn’t get one is gonna read this so…)
ashley! D: i’m sorry you’re feeling this way. i hope i didn’t contribute to this. and don’t worry about sounding whiny. we all do it. (: I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR INVITATION, BTW! i was staring at it all the way to target, today. i adore it and shall treasure it! cause that’s what i do.
Today I was at the train station when I noticed that someone had put up a sign saying platform 9 and 3/4. Next thing I noticed was a man in his 30's look around to see if anyone was watching before he attempted to go through the wall. I laughed, he was unsuccessful. MLIA
What also caught my eye as I was flipping channels from House to Dancing With The Stars was the commercial for the new season premier of Castle. I’ve never heard of it before and tonight’s apparently the 2nd season premier. What made me interested was that Nathan Dillion was in it :D lol Gotta love him.
wasn’t it?! :D house is such an ass. i love it. the end was sad, though. and happy!
i haven’t really posted any talk-y talk-y blogs in awhile. might as well. at the moment, i’m working on my art project. i’m really glad that it is starting to come together. i still have more actual drawing to do, but i started “inking” it. awesome. i should be done soon.
earlier today: i woke up at 10ish. and went on the computer. because… i’m lame and that is what i do. ): i watched youtube videos and tried to figure out my new computer software. it’s pretty effin’ sweet. after awhile, i started my homework. i didn’t actually have to much. i thought i had a lot more than i really did. after my homework, i took a shower. and watched something on the history channel about the secret society of the freemasons. it was really cool. i worked on my art. watched youtube videos.
-insert rant-y pessimistic thing here- i dislike that my weekends are so bland. i want to do more, but… i get lazy. and i wonder why i don’t just go out and like… walk around. go to the park. or the bookstore. or… something! i think that when i go to san francisco, i don’t do anything because i don’t have anybody to do things with. and i honestly don’t want to hang out with my family. weekends are for friends! D: because the school week doesn’t really allow for that. so why am i wasting time? well, i fail. obviously! >_>
/end. well… right before i left i bought things on teh interwebz! i had the money and i bought things that i’ve been wanting to get for a long time. four shirts from threadless. this amazing makeup palette. o_o (FOR SERIOUS… IT’S SO COOL -insert picture here:
SO MANY COLORS. it was like… 20 dollars. and you may be wondering… omg, that’s gonna suck, alexa. you just wasted your money. you’re so dumb. HEY, NAO. i’ve done my research. first of all, search on youtube… “120 palette review”. or something. (: that’ll show you.) and lastly, i bought some more little makeup essentials. o__O why did i buy so much makeup? oh well. (: i almost bought the LOTR trilogy. i actually still have some money left over. i think i will. or something. (: that stuff made me happy.
dinner: for dinner i had yoshinoya. it used to be okay. (mind you, this is an asian fast food establishment) now… it sucks. really bad. i’m boycotting that place. i eat there no more. (: then i came home. talked to my mommy a bit. worked on my art some more. and now, here i am!
“I know you can’t live on hope alone but without hope life is not worth living. So you and you and you, you’ve got to give them hope.”—Sean Penn in Milk (via melodymeeh) (via leeshiebean) (via quote-book)
i'm unbelievably excited for The World Of Harry Potter!
i was reading all the little things that are going to be there and i’m just… so excited! it sounds so perfect. i’ve decided from this moment on, every single time i get money, i’m putting some of it towards that. coz i wanna go and buy things! they are selling things there that you cannot get anywhere else! HOW COOL IS THAT? (: and, apparently, you can go to Ollivander’s and have a wand choose you! :D d;kfmakls
i don’t know what to do about this. my words get stuck in my throat. i think, “come on, just say it!” but something stops me. internal conflicts suck. i hate that i can’t just be like amanda and get it over with. for the better or for the worse. though, i’d like it to be for the better. i mean, who would want it to be for the worse? masochist people… >_> anyway. i think i psych myself out. i think too much. i wish i was more impulsive. but, damn it… i’m not. i could’ve just said it today. i had the perfect opportunity! i blew it. ): why is it this way? i don’t want to get hurt again… maybe that is why i am hesitating so much. but not doing anything isn’t helping either. i hate this.
i am watching law and order: SVU. (: i love this show. they are so badass. and i should be asleep. since it’s so late. but i cannot. i’ve been thinking. damn thinking. i hate it sometimes. i hope i will be able to go to the movies tomorrow. that’s really where i wanna be. i didn’t get to go to the zoo. ): maybe next time. it was a bad weekend. i had a lot of homework. but i wanted to be out. with friends. ): but i was in san francisco. no friends here. they’re all in san jose. i love san francisco, no doubt about that. but… i wish that i was in san jose. hangin’z out wit teh peoplez i luv. /: but, i did spend the day (saturday) watching gilmore girls. i do love that show. it made the day a bit more bearable. but… i wanted to do something. sitting there… watching tv and doing homework… not exactly the life i want to lead. i want to have an adventure. i wanted to go to the zoo. but… no! no, no, no. life is in the way once again. /: oh well, what can i do, really?
I finally figured out how to post on here w/my phone. Had to change wide page mode into optimized mode to see the link.
Anyway, the internet is down at my house and its REALLY lame. I’m gonna have to start going to the library to do hw if this keeps up. LAME.
So, I was trying to figure out why all my life I’ve always felt like I’m not good enough for anything or anyone. It’s my own personal problem, I don’t really think anyone can get rid of that feeling but me. Of course this feeling has improved over the years but its still bothering me in the back of my head.
After contemplating about it I’ve come to the conclusion it was my parents. (Oh who would’ve thought) They always tell me to do better and I can never satisfy them. Apparently I don’t live up to their standards. Even though I get mad at them all the time, I still try to make them happy so that one day I get that “I’m proud of you” or “I love you” or the hug I’ve always wanted all my life instead of that “Hmph” or cold shoulder I usually get from them. Sometimes I get embarrassed when I try to talk about this type of stuff cause it just sounds like I’m a little kid seeking attention. I’m really envious of all you guys who have supportive and communicative parents.
I just wish I could talk to my mom about this but its just so hard for me. I wish parents would have to go to parenting school so they could get parenting licenses. Well at least mine. Thanks to all you guys who’ve been there for me through my tough times.
And maybe my parents isn’t the only reason I’m the way I am, but that’s all I can think of for now. Well there is probably one story I could talk about, but I rather not.
I think I cried for the first time in front of him. But I didn’t let him see my face. I remember that was the one thing I tried to hide from him, because I remember him saying how he hated when people cry and stuff. Hopefully he meant crying as in wailing and crying like little babies. Thank goodness for waterproof makeup.